A Poem About The Goldfish I Always Wanted As A Child.

Wet pet.

Whoop!

Guess what, everybody. My blog got two hits today. TWO HITS. I don’t think you realise how big a deal this is.

Okay, maybe it’s not such a big deal, but I am charged up on optimism today. Seriously. It’s actually getting a bit annoying for other people, I think. In English today, we were talking about context, and I kept saying things like, “That is so COOL!” or, “I find that really interesting!”. Even the teacher looked at me like I had sprouted an extra limb. In Psychology, I went on and on about this amazing English class we had had, and about how I loved context, and was going to start a world context revolution. And, you might not be too surprised to hear, my psychology buddies all shook their heads despairingly. Well, you would, wouldn’t you?

Funny, that. You wouldn’t actually think I’d be in a good mood at all today, because I didn’t get any sleep last night. Not because I had deep issues to contemplate, or anything, but because there is a herd of mice wearing hob-nailed boots and performingRiverdance in the attic directly above my bedroom. Dad dashed into the attic with my brother’s hurl a few nights ago, but it doesn’t seem to have frightened them much. After a trip into the roofspace yesterday, he reported that some innocent little mouse had got itself caught in the Sticky Stuff (real name, obviously)he had put down, had tried to chew itself out, and was now slowly suffocating. Now, I’m not the biggest fan of rodents, but the thought of a tiny, helpless creature suffering the slowest possible death because I had complained about the noise was almost enough to make me cry. Almost. Poor wee craythur!

Right. So. My brothers are currently throwing knives around the kitchen. I mean, when God created boys, did he forget to give them the part that enables us women to think, “Wait. That might not be such a good idea.”? I mean, I wouldn’t want to diss God’s handiwork, ’cause I know he did a sterling job and all that, but WHY would He leave that part out? WHY?

Any ideas?

Re-Vamped.

Re-vamping is a very big thing these days, isn’t it?  I mean, you can hardly turn on the TV without seeing some property program where some English twit (not to generalise – I like many English people, it just so happens that all the people on these shows are both English and twits) has bought an ex-pirate’s cave with the intention of turning it into a treehouse.  Bands are at it, too.  I hear the Spice Girls are planning on re-vamping their image and making a comeback (save us all!!).  Even my dad has jumped on the restoration bandwagon and turned the tiny office beside his garage into a bedsit appartment.

That’s why I worry that people may think that my attempts to restore this once flourishing (not) blog is an act of conformity.  Allow me to assure you that it most certainly isn’t.  If anything, it’s an act of boredom.  In fact, I mightn’t ever look at it again after today. 

You see, the blog entries that were lying around on this page were an embarrassing shadow of who I was, and bore no resemblance at all to who I am. It’s hardly surprising;  it’s been a long time.  But imagine my embarrassment if anyone had happened to stumble across this page (not that they did) and discovered the pathetic, self pitying drivel that was here!  I might just have died off.

So, as of today, consider this page re-vamped.